I Won't Be a Virgin After Friday Night

I don't mean that; get your mind out of the gutter, for crying out loud. I've got three kids!

No, what I'm talking about is my first-ever author appearance. Friday night, from six to nine p.m., I will be appearing at Zorvino Vineyards' second annual Author's Night. Here is the very classy flyer they provided, which not only looks awesome, contains all the pertinent details:

See? Very classy, which is pretty much what you would expect from an event being held at a vineyard. Not that I would know; I don't even drink wine. In fact, I wasn't even aware New Hampshire had any actual vineyards. Breweries, sure, but vineyards?

All of this classiness only serves to make me even more nervous than I would expect to be. But an author should make appearances, right? And this is probably the most painless way to do it, considering I will be one of seventy-five or so vultures authors, all looking to make sales mingle and sip wine.

And in case you didn't notice, Major Don West will be there, and Lost in Space was just about my favorite show ever when I was growing up, with the possible exceptions of Batman and The Three Stooges. See what I mean? Classy.

Also appearing, although not listed on this flyer, will be Manchester Channel Nine's meteorologist Josh Judge. Meeting him will not only be cool, it will give me a chance to get a few things off my chest regarding that gigantic blizzard from late-October. He better show up with his game face on.

Anyway, I would love to see you there, and if you do show up (Free wine!), please be sure to take pity on me stop by my table and say hi. I'll be easy to spot - just look for the old guy who reminds you of the nerdy kid standing in the corner watching all the cool kids at the junior high dance.

Did I mention you can snag a pen? My savior wife ordered very cool pens with my website on them to give out at this appearance, and any others I may make if hell freezes over if anyone would like me to speak at their event. She's the best and even if I look out of place at a classy vineyard, my pens will look right at home.

So if you're kicking around southern New Hampshire this Friday night with nothing to do (As if - this is New Hampshire!), or think you might have occasion to sign legal documents or something before you get home and don't have a pen handy, I would love it if you stop by and say hello. Browse some of the stuff from some outstanding local authors, pick up a signed book or seventy, and ask Major West why they didn't just kick that damned Dr. Zachary Smith out on his ass after about the fifth episode. That's what I would have done.