Monday, June 13, 2011

Euphoric Cleveland celebrates NBA Championship

Law enforcement authorities last night praised Cleveland sports fans for their orderly behavior as the city celebrated its first professional sports championship in nearly a half-century, after the Dallas Mavericks dispatched the Miami Heat in six games to win the NBA Championship.

"Fans of the underdog everywhere can appreciate this," one exultant partier exclaimed. When reminded it wasn't actually a Cleveland team that won the series, he said, "Well, no, of course not. But here in Cleveland we still look at this as a victory. When you haven't won a championship in any major professional sport since 1964, you take what you can get."

There were scattered reports throughout the city of the occasional spontaneous Lebron jersey-burning, causing mild concern from fire enforcement officials. "Obviously," one firefighter said, "we don't ever condone bonfires in the city, but you can't really blame people from celebrating, given the circumstances."

He went on to add, "The thing that surprises me is that there were so many of those damned things left after last spring, when you couldn't swing a dead cat around here without coming across another flaming Lebron James jersey."

A high-ranking figure in Cleveland city government, who spoke to this reporter only after receiving assurances of anonymity, said, "Let's face it, of course we'd prefer to see the Cavs win a championship, but at this point, we're not that fussy. We just want to celebrate. I'm thinking of taking my partying talents to South Beach just to keep the celebration going."

Perhaps one delirious fan put it best when he said, "This is the best feeling ever! I can't wait until next year to make it two in a row. I know it's not easy to win back-to-back titles, but since we only need one of twenty-nine teams to win, I like our chances."

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