Should Have Tried Dry Cleaning

As part of the division of labor in our household, I have been delegated the task of doing most of the laundry. It's not something I really mind, in fact as a chore it has a lot to recommend it: Laundry requires very little brainpower or thought, putting it right up my alley. Laundry is something that can be done at all hours of the night and day, making it perfect for my availability between shift work at my paying job and writing, which I consider my real job.

Plus, and this is probably best of all, you can fold laundry and not miss a single play of the Red Sox or Patriots game on TV. Beyond that, though, you have to be careful. I've found through bitter experience that attempting to fold while watching Heroes or Lost is a pointless exercise in frustration. You end up with your wife's bras in your underwear drawer while having no freaking clue why Jack just punched out Sawyer.

But back to my point, which is this - As the designated laundry-doer in my family for the better part of the last ten or twelve years, I'm something of an expert on the subject; at least as much as someone can be who knows nothing about fabrics, etc. But I discovered something last week that I want to share with you, just in case you are as ignorant of it as I was.

IPods aren't washable!

Explanation: My middle child, who's a senior in high school and a cheerleader, came home from a football game last Friday night and hung her warmup jacket over the kitchen chair. I did a load of laundry the next day and threw it in, without checking the pockets. I know, I know, rookie mistake, but what can I say? My head wasn't in the game, I can admit that.

So there you have it - I washed my daughter's iPod.

Uh, excuse me, isn't this supposed to be the twenty-first century? Technological revolution and all that crap? I grew up listening to record albums pressed out of vinyl discs, and I'd be willing to bet that if I had accidentally put one of them through the wash, I could still have listened to it afterward. Sure, Bob Seger might have sounded a little...off...but I'll bet he would still have sung for me.

Not that iPod. One little trip through the wash and spin, and now it's worthless for use as anything besides a paperweight. And it's not very good at that either; it's so small and light a good breeze would blow it away along with the paper it's supposed to be covering.

I offer this as a warning to anyone else out there who might get a wild hair and try to wash their electronic devices. Don't do it! I tried an iPod, but I doubt you would fare much better washing your cell phone or your BlackBerry either. Just Say No.